How to Ask – Real Stories

Family & friends Staying connected


This person wasn’t a close friend. We lived in the same street. We’d, you know, hang out a little bit. So we were more, you know, acquaintances than friends. But, you know, we’d have a cuppa sometimes. She had her second baby, and I’d only know her maybe for about a year, and after the second I noticed she became a bit more withdrawn, she was always in the house. I’d maybe go over and the house was a lot messier and you know that’s all normal stuff for babies.

You know, when you’re busy but I guess you just notice subtle changes in people that you know that make you think, they’re not really coping. Her, from what we were talking about, her relationship was also really difficult during that time. So there were things that were happening in her life that were, you know, were really challenging on top of just having this new baby. I guess I felt that she wasn’t coping. You know, like maybe she needed that extra support. You don’t really know when it’s someone that’s not your close, close friend, whether you actually reach out. Because some people are, you know, funny about accepting help. There was a particular day that she actually was in tears and she actually broke down and just basically said that she wasn’t coping. So for me that was the time when I did offer support and just, you know, talk to her about what was going on.

We spoke about, stuff about the relationship and whether she needed, sort of, more formalhelp. You know, whether she had a good GP, you know, getting some extra support in the community and we lived in a, you know, fairly small community. There wasn’t a lot of support but there was some good sort of community based supports that were free. So I sort of pointed her in the right direction and I think she was quite relieved. I think she had gotten to the point where she was quite withdrawn from family and friends, or seemed to be. And I think she seemed quite relieved that it was out in the open.

I was certainly glad that I’d offered the help. She certainly, she actually did need quite a lot of intervention after that. As it turned out she needed quite a lot of support, so that was sort of, I was glad that I was the one, you know to sort of be there at that time. It doesn’t happen overnight but like, life got a little bit better for her over time. You know that was good you know for me to know that she actually got the support that she needed.

Last Updated: 25 June 2020